So almost to the end of this year.....!!

So almost to the end of this year and probably this could be my last post...!!

It is good to look back and see all the marvelous things God had done for us this year....!!
Now what about the things you hoped for ? The things that remained unfulfilled !! Do you get angry at God or some person? What about when people much resembling to the friends of Job come and test you saying .. " God doesn't love you, that's why ....!!" or ' you had mistaken the voice of God..!'
Doesn't it hurt when something like this is said...and you have no answer to give?
 
Once a Pastor from our church had a major accident. The driver had run the car over the median and the window glass cracked and injured the Pastor who was sitting there..He had some injuries on his face and knees..etc..He was bed ridden..a hip dislocation also if i am not wrong. We had gone to see him and he asked Uncle..what do you think about this Pastor Ayya? Some say this accident was to test me, some say to prune me, some say it was the work of the devil and still some say that i had committed a sin !!

I personally write blogs not that people should read it..it's my soul speaking to me. It's my Soul's ECG. So,...let me tell you what i could share about what i feel...my perspective ....

Yes, even when i look back to this year. It was a significant year in many ways. God taught me many things..Yes, even i had hoped for some things which did not take place. Part of the certainty has gone away and so are some C9 experiences. Same with you isn't it ? :) God is not partial towards anyone..
Now do you want to remain hooked up by these things.... !! NOOO... move on.. It's a brighter morning today...!! Remember one thing in life...

 ' I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]' John 16:33
The promise is...'in Jesus our peace...not in the world'..!! I personally need to run to this verse almost 4-5 times in a week. Trust me... Hope is what sustains me. My hope in Jesus...!! The world will one day fade away and all the other things ..yet His word will remain forever !!

You know what...while many people suffered a lot during these floods...as a family we did not loose anything .... So should i bounce and shout .. "Hallelujah ... God loves me so much that He kept away the affects of the flood from me" ?

RUBBISH !! I have to use this coarse word here...!! We are blind...!! If this was true..thousands of people - didn't God love them ? Of course He did....those who lost their lives ....it was because they were sinners is it ? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !! Keep away such thoughts  from your mind....!!
" I don't become a Saint if only good things happen to me and no one becomes a sinner if bad things happen to them. BTW..who is the judge here ... to see if a thing is "good or bad"... !! Remember our sight is limited and we are mortal beings.

Recently was going through a p interest link  and read this inspirational quote and yes ..it was very effective

" DO NOT JUDGE , You DON'T KNOW WHAT STORM I HAVE ASKED HER TO WALK THROUGH - GOD"

So.... this is how i love to express my thoughts ..!!
I deeply respect every child of God because "as i am so are they to God". I am no superior...!!
Finally this link sums it up ( *** while you read the lyrics ..please note it's He and Him not he /him )
 https://youtu.be/cbci49bGwcc

Hoping for a new grace the coming year :)
Thank you...
God bless you !!

Yes...i am SINGLE.......yet.......................................!!

I am speaking from my heart here…not intended to anyone in specific…!!

I wish every ‘Status’ column had this category included in…

“SINGLE yet unavailable !!!”

Got the point ? No…!! Let me explain….!!

As soon as one states that they are single…the immediate reaction is that she/he is available !! That’s how people think and even behave accordingly today..!

Relationship..!! hmmm….yes, I have something to share here…!!

My strong convictions!!!

-      

-  - Relationship without Commitment is a ship without a Rudder..!!

     Can you believe ….a person of another faith, stated this to me when we had a discussion once…..!

- - good choice is not equal to God’s Choice ……!!

                                “Oh jesse, he is soo good !”

                                 So ?? Is he God’s choice ? Come on….!!

- - I am not seeking after true love only !!

                  A person might claim he truly loves me….. that’s deceptive…………..!! Love grows…!! When Isaac saw Rebekah for the first time….he loved her….He knew that she was the one and their love grew from there…….!!

I have witnessed numerous happy and really blessed marriages that were ‘arranged’ …!!!  No, by this I do not mean am against love marriages….! God has both ways..!

-  

  - He is soooo gifted !!

Oh..in that case I might probably go to a stationary shop and get one for myself. I don’t want to marry a Christmas tree ;)

  - And yes…a very BIG yes….. i strongly forbid anyone calling me by ‘pet names’ that is reserved only for my One…!!

Yes…  have politely told people to restrain from giving me any pronouns like dear, etc etc … cause I personally wouldn’t  accept it from any guy!!  ( this is my personal conviction….you can have yours…)

 

-        And the list goes on…………………..!!!

Thanks to a couple of good..really generous friends of mine who have added me into various groups …. Naaa…. That wasn’t intentional…..hope so…!!!

I have been asked a lot of questions…on this topic…!!! Probably this reply …. keeps everyone away ;)

                            “Am single yet unavailable”

An announcement finally made !!

You know what, sometimes, when i write things for my blog, i get butterflies in my tummy. Seriously !! Today, let me share something about my MOP college life.. I have spoken a lot about WCC yet hardly ever about MOP.
Now, probably i was among the quietest girl in the group, as i did not have many things in common with the rest of my classmates. It must have been hard for them to be friendly with me. They were a group of naughty...trust me......very naughty girls..!!

So, i was known as the balabrahmachari there !! How did i get that ..it happened during our college tour to Cochin. hhaaa..that was really funny. The tour coordinators had booked a hotel for the three departments and that was the  (Mass Communication, Media management and Broadcast..something ..) Fine, the funniest part was..there was a bar at the ground floor of the hotel and my naughty friends would peep from above to see what was going on downstairs.

Now one final day..these girls had decided to go down and get into the bar and see what was going on inside and three of us were left in the room all by ourselves in the first floor. On their way these naughty girls had knocked at one of the door of another room which happened to be of a group of boys at the ground floor. After half an hour, when just three of us were in the room. I was in the hall room and the other two inside the bedroom. The doors were just shut and not bolted and there was this guy who so easily tip toed inside our room. I sensed some kind of a sound and looked behind me..almost about to scream. On seeing me ..... he apologized and said that he had come in by mistake...and i as '...' as i was..said ..ok!!..no problem..!!! It didn't click me at all. I did not understand what was happening!! He was still inside the hall room and then a girl from another department noticed him inside the room and on seeing him..she shouted..scolded and chased him outside. I was standing there like a statue and pillar ...... not even realizing what was happening..!! After 5 minute or so all my class girls had come in on hearing the shout and scream. This girl explained the situation to them and even narrated how jesse had reacted to the situation..They were like 'jesse...!!" i told them..i thought he had come in by mistake ..!!

It was then that we had a round table conference and they all came to me with this question..'jesse are you going to marry ?' You...girl!!
I told them 'no..! i wasn't !!! They tried convincing me ..... what if you get someone just like you....someone who loves God dearly..will you not consider..this was asked by Khadija..i replied..nothing doing 'NO'.


Why was i so sure about that ?

When i was in my first or second year in WCC. Uncle and i, had gone for a meeting in Velacherry...after the meeting..we were staying with a couple..the girl was a friend of mine.. as  i noticed that my friend was now married.....a sudden question arose in my heart.....probably that was
the first time....' I asked the Lord......Lord what about my future ?' and then as i was reading the word of God...i was lead to the verse in Jeremiah 16:2
Thou shalt not take thee a wife, neither shalt thou have sons or daughters in this place.

That's it....it was from then i believed God wanted me to remain single..i believed it was His will..not just that... as You all must be knowing by now...am a big dreamer..so until then ..or maybe for another 2-3 years from then ...all the dreams i ever had about my marriage would be incomplete..somehow ..it wouldn't lead to marriage at all..in all my dreams 100 % of them..so i was so sure that God wanted me to remain single..!!

And thank God that guarded me during the 3-4 years of my college life..!! Thank You Father !!

So i tried explaining this to my MOP friends and they stopped nagging me  since then..and never pulled me into any adult talk !!

So now it's been nearly 3 years....as God has been leading me in a different way and now am convinced that God's will for my future is to marry and not to remain single. I  realized that this decision of mine wasn't shared with my MOP friends except for one of my closest friend. So how
should i break this news ? I had an opportunity two months ago..yet i didn't have the guts to do so then...yet somehow today when a friend was sharing about her pregnancy news...i thought this was THE time and i let it out..let's see the reaction..probably they seem to be excited as if everything is already fixed!! .....Anyways!! Sweet friends indeed!!

Jesse: @ Khadija especially... :) I was wrong...bout my future... I am considering marriage and I believe in ...............................!!
Jesse: Just wanted to let You all know ...coz I don't want to give you all a shock
Jesse: When the time comes :)

Niloufar: Lol Jesse I always knew u would get married :)
Jesse: :)
Jesse: I myself didn't know that
Niloufar: Yes I think u surprised urself😝
Jesse: Ha ha ha
Jesse: Whah
Jesse: What a statement !!

Akila: Yea even i thought jesse would get married sometime..
Niloufar:  I think most of us knew that
Jesse: OK ok
Niloufar:  I'm guessing u found someone worth changing ur mind jesse
Jesse: I am relieved then !!
Jesse: Maybe or maybe not
Jesse: ;)
Niloufar: Okkk as usual we know the answer
Jesse: Ha ha ha

Madhu: Share pic jes
Jesse: Arey
Jesse: Nothing like that
Madhu: V don want surprises in seeing him
Jesse: No no nothing like that
Niloufar:Haha
Niloufar:Jesse is gonna kill me. Lol
Jesse: Why
Madhu: Y u r yet to propose him???
Jesse: Madhu romba advance poyite
Madhu: ................ den t means u found someone
Jesse: Wait and see
Madhu: It's oki.... tell off
Madhu: Oki in dat case tell me where ll d marriage happen
Jesse: Should be in chennai
Jesse: Coz  I am from here
Madhu: Perfect

Nandini: Oh my god Jessie I couldn't believe my eyes
Nandini: I am very happy for you
Cibiya: Happy for u Jesse !! Nice to hear that frm u
Where u now ?
Nandini: We are all looking forward for your your wedding jess

Tanuja: Wow
Tanuja: This is amazing news jesse
Tanuja: Very happy
Tanuja: We should all meet up sometime
Tanuja: Been so long

Khadija:Guys pls give me some breathing space....to many news in one day....but good to hear all the good news.... Hope we gave a lot more for this group...
Congratulations Jesse....
Maya: Thank me I put the first msg in the group by saying happy birthday


So this was a glimpse into it..my dear friends wished me as if i was announcing  my marriage date ;)
Funny..anyways..to summon up...let me share a very very strange and yes confidential..dream( now..it will no longer remain so)

This dream is dated  3rd June..2014!! Let me try to quote the exact words from my diary ...... BTW somethings i wouldn't reveal as of now !! ;)

"I saw a dream....there was this man...definitely .....looking and all i remember was his father also..... ...!! This boy was supposed to ........ am not sure yet i used to marry him ..... and i remember...........( i remember that the people around me..probably from my husband's side were staring at me...) i remember getting down the building (or church) and my husband was missing...everyone
around  considered me to be a very immature girl..they were all staring at me!!!!  They considered Mercy to be smart. So, we ( Mercy,Ruth and i) were waiting for  my husband to come and pick us up. So my husband comes in his car and picks us up.... all of us..and before that he goes and gets a book for Mercy about 'single hood ' or something.........................Then he calls me for help if i wished to. In my dream i realized that he wanted to give me responsibility  ................. In my dream - in my heart - i  loved him and he too was a very good man !! Such a strange dream....first time ever...i was already married in my dream..!!" When i woke up that morning...i had a very light feeling...a sense of joy and ease !!


Strange and really strange..!!! Anyways...that's it...... my work is done..have announced it....at least now..!!! it's never too late !!!

will you leave them - JUST LIKE THAT ?

And the Lord said, I have surely seen the affliction of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters and oppressors; for I know their sorrows and sufferings and trials.

                                                                                                                                                         Exodus 3:7

The earth is His..and so are the people !! It was His grace that saved us, it was His grace that we were born into a believing family, it was His grace that we heard the Truth, it was His grace that even though we had fallen a number of times, sometimes into ugly filth - He lifted us !! It was His grace. 

If it was His GRACE then .............

I heard this once from Bro. Zac Poonen…

Think of this – there are people you know in this world, whom no body else knows!!

Those are the people whom God wants you – to encourage, challenge and build up.

Not just this, I know it’s time to help others…eating, eating and eating will only make me fat !!

This was not the case some 3-4 years ago. I used to fear that having a discussion with a person who is not saved would make me alike ( such a selfish thought or maybe I wasn’t ready then.)

Today ‘the tug of war’ is stronger on my side!!! I have a SUPER CHAMPION with me ;) !!

Unlike many believers, I had the opportunity to live in an atmosphere where I was the only Christian!!( just by name then) I was far from Christ. When God saved me, I was still vulnerable .. He had given me the strength yet I needed another touch. So, I really thank God for the guardian He provided me. Guardian over my soul…tough like an iron. I needed it !! Yes …. it’s true!! I had to undergo strict discipline which was bitter then, yet today I praise God. Thank You Lord. The world outside just saw the iron fence that was around me yet God was tenderly sowing seeds of fruits and flowers around me ..  unseen to many eyes !!

Today…now…having received light, I think it’s time to help others see it. Recently, I have been thinking a lot about my friends – some of them are too good and how could I leave them into the snare of the satan. I don’t mind if they tag me as one who wants to convert them – all I wish for them is that they too be a partaker of the joy the Lord has given me and is continuing to do even more!!!

This wonderful classmate of mine ( hope he doesn’t get angry when he reads this as I am about to leak a few lines of our conversation … :)

Jesse: Why don't u do certain things which U know u shouldn't

Jesse: What stops u

Jesse: Its Ur opinion I am asking

Sameer: Self control

Jesse: U cud explain with an example

Jesse: No why U don't do it??

Sameer: Alcohol

Jesse: Ok

Jesse: Why U don't do it?

Sameer: i have seen ppl being good and ppl with worse health condn

Jesse: Hmmm

Jesse: So for ur own hood

Jesse: Good

Sameer: ya

Jesse: U choose to do something and leave out others

Jesse: OK then pornography

Jesse: What's harm in that

Sameer: Porno is not harm

Sameer: even infact its good if its a healthy. way

Jesse: Hmmm

Sameer: I am never interested

Jesse: Then why do ppl feel bad after doing it

Sameer: its just a temporary rush of things

Jesse: Hmmm

Jesse: Thanks

Sameer: once we get busy...we won't think about

Jesse: Just wanted to have Ur views

Sameer: ya

Sameer: Nothing is bad, provided we know it's limits

Jesse: Who sets the limits

Jesse: …………. Murder??

Jesse: Adultery??

Jesse: ;)

Sameer: Adultery is Sin

Sameer: So as. Murder

Jesse: Sin ??

Jesse: Am I hearing it properly ??

Sameer: We have no rights to take a life which god has given

Sameer: yea

Jesse: Then coming back

Sameer: Sin as in paavam...as in paap

Jesse: We have no right to be a partaker of the exploit a girl is going thru in pornography

Jesse: She could be forced or she could have done it for a need

Jesse: Isn't it like a man who goes to the prostitute

Jesse: Just that here its psychological pleasure

Jesse: There its physical

Jesse: Hmmm

Jesse: And Drinking

Jesse: Drinking…!! How do we have the right to destroy the life God has given   

      us ??

Jesse: One's own life !!

What are we doing with the light God has given us ? Keeping it under the bushel is it ? There are many out there who would 

support what this boy just shared, if you are there would you voice what God has to say ? or 

Would you sneak out quietly thinking that he would misunderstand you. I think that I love my classmates at least this much that 

I don’t desire to see them perishing in this world without having tasted -  how good my Lord is !!! It is uncomfortable ..yes it is….for a

person like me..it is very much uncomfortable..!! Yet...if  you believe we are living in the last days..will you leave them

 JUST LIKE THAT ?

Help them !!! Help !! That’s all is required 

( … if you have just read this, I have reproduced the conversation just to help someone…I hope that’s fine with you :) !!) 

My First Marriage Bureau Experience !!

Hmm.!! So i always never  wished to go to a Marriage Bureau, yet at the same time i always knew that God sometimes works in different ways. So one of a very close uncle lead us to a Marriage Bureau, and this was a church i really respected. So i had given my photograph and biodata which was listed in the file for ' Post Graduate - Brides '. So it was a monday evening and i was there along with my uncle.

As soon as i entered in, the sister in charge ( a very aged women), looked at me and said, ' you look so different, look how you appear in this photograph'. I just smiled. Then i was given files and asked to first consider the age and decide. I nodded. Yet it was then i realized 'how spiritual i was'. On my way back home i had to repent of many thoughts that i had in my mind that day.

Instead of looking at other details, my eyes right away fell on the photographs.! And next was height ! And next was education ! And then expectation ! Doesn't sound very spiritual right ?

Thank God, He was faithful to show me my shortcomings..!! Thank You Lord..!!!

At the same time, there were some hilarious things too..!! I was amazed at how bold,open  and faithful people could be. Like some fair brothers had written (in the expectation column) - Should be beautiful !! Wow !! Fair !!!

This was a nice thing i noticed. Almost everyone had put down a very realistic figure about their salary. I was happy to see that. There were even 4 figure numbers.

Also very recently my eyes fell into this thing and i laughed out really loud. Someone had described about himself as V.fair .....!! Pahhh.....and there was another..V.V Fair !! huhhhh!!! I am speaking about  guys here !

Yes, got little attracted at this particular biodata ;) An Assistant Commissioner or something ... WOW !! Height some 6.3 feet ,....!! Cool..!! Then i read the expectation - want a girl of not less than 5.5 feet..ha ha ha..!! I laughed out !!! Had a nice experience though !!

Then was the climax..!! I suddenly noticed that the particular sister ( in charge) was observing me as i was flipping the pages very fast. So i just pretended as if i was seriously reading through each bio data ;). Then she said in a very loud tone, and this was so embarrassing in front of every other couple sitting there. 'Look at this girl, she pointed at me'. What kind of a picture she has submitted. She looks so different. You look good this way. Go..! Go and get another..there is a studio outside!! I didn't know where to hide my face. Thank God, Uncle was with me. I just smiled at everything. Then after a pause, she said. So everyone sitting here ....don't decide by just looking at a picture. That person might be looking much better than that.

Hmmm...!! So Uncle had picked out one and asked me !! I just nodded and we collected the information. That sister asked me openly..Soooo yettane pudhichiruka ? ( How many did you like ?) I looked at uncle. He replied for me ..! :)

Then we said good bye and left. Before leaving she reminded me again...!!

The very thing of choosing someone seeing a photograph !! hmmm!!! Yet God has united many of His children this way too..! So.....................!! So.................!!!

Had another hilarious moment while getting this picture done. Slightly fake smile ;) Isn't it !!

God's dealing with jLH

God's dealing with jLH

Some 3-4 years ago, all i remember praying at every meeting, every gathering, was "Lord', give me Eternal Rest - Don't make me sway..!!

Today, when i look back, i thank God for the way He has brought me thus far...!
I don't know about my brothers & sisters in Christ, yet for me { even though i am currently part of a  a pakka Pentecostal Church ;) } God does things very subtly in my life..almost always. Yet, the things He does are always like a two edged sword that pierces through my soul, making me realize it is HE who has done it!
..... from providing my needs, to directing my steps EVERYTHING .
When i need something, He doesn't make 'oil flow out from a jar'. He sends it through someone.

When He doesn't like something i do, there is a loud 'Bang', & the door gets closed.

Oh, He does test me many a times. I know He likes doing that so that i could grow spiritually.

He makes me realize my weaknesses & stretches forth His hand of help to lift me up.

When i get proud, He immediately humbles me.

Recently nearly 3-4 weeks ago, i experienced a similar thing that i had gone through some 5 years ago - God encouraging me by just a sentence written somewhere.  I was in a place called Periyapalayam,  a little outskirts region in the North of Chennai. We were made to stay in a village like area and were given a complete house to for three days. It was night and Uncle was sitting in the veranda as there was cool breeze blowing there. I was on my bed ( actually a sofa cum bed). It was nearly 11 or 12 midnight, i am not sure of the exact time.  I wasn't feeling sleepy and was actually not even thinking anything in particular. Yes, i was having severe stomach cramps (Due to food disorder, i had developed some severe stomach cramps the entire week and this was a Friday. ) yet that didn't bother me much.

At  about 12, suddenly there was heavy thunder and lightning and Uncle came rushing in. Actually rain water was entering inside the room through the windows. Here was Uncle entering in carrying his chair, and i was looking at the ceiling.  He looked at me with amazement that i was still awake. Something happened within me and i began to weep. Seriously, i still can't figure out what exactly was the cause. After a while i wiped my tears and asked Uncle to pray and i was about to sleep. Yet, my weeping really disturbed Uncle. For another 1 and a half hours, he was asking me what was the cause of my weeping...did someone say something, did i say something, did someone do something, did you receive any call, what happened?, you want to return to Chennai, want a doctor  ??? What jesse??

I said no,no, no..none of the above!!! I assured him that it was not a serious thing and that i wouldn't share. He asked me to tell the truth if it was something he should know..i again assured him that it wasn't anything serious. Actually there was a flow of emotional outburst..i never experienced such a thing before. My heart was still little heavy though Uncle was fine now. As there wasn't any electricity line in the rest room ( there was a bulb yet no flow of current ) and it was situated outside the house ..inside the compound and it was raining heavily adding a little more weight to what i was feeling. I borrowed Uncle's cellphone to use his torch, {why didn't i use mine ? coz if the phone slips from my hand in the rest room...in case...yes..am little selfish ;)}
ok ok... Let me come to the climax of this long story..............

As i opened the bolt of the rest room, my eyes fell into something - the most beautiful words one could ever find in a time as such.

On the wall, with colourful sketchwork there was a writing .. "a three worded sentence "

                                    JESUS LOVES YOU

Ahhhhhhh.....tears began to flow down my cheeks....Oh, Jesus, at a time as this, and as silly as i was, You bothered to encourage me and show me how much You cared for me ? Oh Lord...., can't believe it ..You did it for me ( Have never ever seen such a thing written in a rest room during any ministry visit ).
"No one can boast about their love for Christ. His love for us surpasses all understanding!! "

God has been, is & will always be good to me..!!

Do you honour God...it's simple to DISCERN ( with +/- 10 % error percentage )

It's easy to know how much a person honour's God by observing his texting style or simply observing his status...!!! Yes, it's true that there might be a percentage of error here...still...most of the time it proves right. At the same time, we shouldn't judge the person...All i am trying to share is a ' SCALE' which has proven accurate most of the times...!!!

I very frequently point out this to believers especially those who do it out of ignorance. What lead me to write this article is a conversation i had with an old classmate of mine..let's have a glimpse into it.....

13/07/2015, 12:22 am   S : Who will fight for me said The Lord
                                         And I said "Send me"
                                         Book of Isaiah
                                         Hi

13/07/2015, 12:23 am - Jesse: Hello
13/07/2015, 12:23 am - Jesse: ??

13/07/2015, 12:24 am S  : Well
You haven't saved my number then
😢

13/07/2015, 12:24 am - Jesse: Yes
13/07/2015, 12:24 am - Jesse: :)

13/07/2015, 12:25 am S  : Any guesses?

13/07/2015, 12:25 am - Jesse: Hmmmmm
13/07/2015, 12:25 am - Jesse: Someone I know
13/07/2015, 12:25 am - Jesse: A human being

13/07/2015, 12:25 am - S: Yeah obviously

13/07/2015, 12:25 am - Jesse: A believer

13/07/2015, 12:25 am - S: A sinner too

13/07/2015, 12:26 am - Jesse: Sinner saved by His grace

13/07/2015, 12:26 am - S: Yet to be saved
13/07/2015, 12:26 am - S: ??

13/07/2015, 12:27 am - Jesse: Ohh
13/07/2015, 12:27 am - Jesse: By the way



13/07/2015, 12:27 am - S: Any names?

13/07/2015, 12:27 am - Jesse: God tells Isaiah
13/07/2015, 12:28 am - Jesse: Who shall go on my behalf

13/07/2015, 12:28 am - S: My bad

13/07/2015, 12:28 am - Jesse: Not fight on my behalf

13/07/2015, 12:28 am - S: Same thing

13/07/2015, 12:28 am - Jesse: No
13/07/2015, 12:28 am - Jesse: Pliz tell me who You are
13/07/2015, 12:29 am - Jesse: Then I will decide what to click on
13/07/2015, 12:29 am - Jesse: Block/save ;)

13/07/2015, 12:29 am - S: Sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do.
But you have to do it so that you don't have to do it again
13/07/2015, 12:30 am - S: By the way my name is S........!

13/07/2015, 12:30 am - Jesse: OK ok
13/07/2015, 12:30 am - Jesse: S......
13/07/2015, 12:30 am - Jesse: Really
13/07/2015, 12:30 am - Jesse: Which S......??
13/07/2015, 12:30 am - Jesse: I am still doubtful


13/07/2015, 12:31 am - S: The one who was always with questions..

13/07/2015, 12:31 am - Jesse: Come on

13/07/2015, 12:31 am - S: How many of'em you know?



13/07/2015, 12:31 am - Jesse: How come
13/07/2015, 12:31 am - Jesse: U are sending one verse
13/07/2015, 12:31 am - Jesse: That's making me doubt

13/07/2015, 12:31 am - S: Was wondering
13/07/2015, 12:32 am - S: Actually I heard it in a movie on ...... named ......

13/07/2015, 12:32 am - Jesse: Ha ha ha

13/07/2015, 12:32 am - S: My bad

13/07/2015, 12:32 am - Jesse: There I caught U !!!
13/07/2015, 12:33 am - Jesse: Ha ha ha

13/07/2015, 12:33 am - S: Yeah

13/07/2015, 12:33 am - Jesse: Can't play with me see
13/07/2015, 12:33 am - Jesse: :)
13/07/2015, 12:33 am - Jesse: Its a bigggggg joke
13/07/2015, 12:33 am - Jesse: Am patting my back

13/07/2015, 12:33 am - S: You were always the smartest one

13/07/2015, 12:33 am - Jesse: Yeah yeah ..... Smart ...then what were U
13/07/2015, 12:34 am - Jesse: And what superb time of chatting
13/07/2015, 12:34 am - Jesse: Am bout to shut my phone and sleep
13/07/2015, 12:34 am - Jesse: Was brushing my teeth and was keeping the alarm

13/07/2015, 12:34 am - S: No problemo

13/07/2015, 12:34 am - Jesse: How r U???

13/07/2015, 12:35 am - S: Have a expresso

13/07/2015, 12:35 am - Jesse: By the way

13/07/2015, 12:35 am - S: M good

13/07/2015, 12:35 am - Jesse: So ....

13/07/2015, 12:35 am - S: What about you?

13/07/2015, 12:35 am - Jesse: Jesse chooses to save and not block
13/07/2015, 12:35 am - Jesse: Am fine
13/07/2015, 12:35 am - Jesse: :)

13/07/2015, 12:36 am - S: I am saved by my saviour;)

13/07/2015, 12:36 am - Jesse: Hey
13/07/2015, 12:36 am - Jesse: Don't play
13/07/2015, 12:36 am - Jesse: If U really believed in this Saviour

13/07/2015, 12:36 am - S: Do you hear confessions too?

13/07/2015, 12:36 am - Jesse: U would have had typed it with a caps

13/07/2015, 12:36 am - S: Actually I was never a believer

13/07/2015, 12:36 am - J: That's an indication
13/07/2015, 12:37 am - J: Of how much dedicated U r

13/07/2015, 12:37 am - S: Atheist
13/07/2015, 12:37 am - S: I just believe in Cosmic consciousness

13/07/2015, 12:37 am - Jesse: Yes yes
13/07/2015, 12:37 am - Jesse: I know

13/07/2015, 12:38 am - S: But feels good to talk to schoolfriends
13/07/2015, 12:39 am - Jesse: Yes of course

13/07/2015, 12:39 am - S: Who "save" me in their phone book.:)

13/07/2015, 12:39 am - Jesse: Next time play a prank with someone else
13/07/2015, 12:39 am - Jesse: U wud fail with jesse
13/07/2015, 12:39 am - Jesse: :)
13/07/2015, 12:39 am - Jesse: Bye and good nite S

13/07/2015, 12:39 am - S: It wasn't intended....GN...

I take time  to read the status of different people in my wattsap,  as it indicates their current mood, and there i have observed how little we care about honoring God.  We are very careful about the names of people, even nick names are jotted down with a caps....yet Lord, God, Saviour, sometimes even Jesus is written in small letters. It's also true that we could be a first class hypocrite and
write down Jesus as JESUS yet our hearts might be far away from Him and  by our words we blow a horn about our dedication towards Him. In either case, may we always honour Him in all possible way..!!! Amen

It's difficult to make a purchase !!

This was on a particular Tuesday night, as i was returning from a meeting in my scooty. Yes, the red one...You are right..!! It was around 8:00 or 8:15 pm i believe..!!
So i was thinking about the night meal and decided to make keerai curry (greens) for Uncle in the same manner as was prepared by an Aunty in Malaysia.

So i bought the greens from a nearby vegetable market. It was drizzling heavily and i had to buy coconut to extract coconut milk as this was the important ingredient of the curry.

Now, as known to many, i would always prefer all dishes devoid of coconut. Even at home when coconut chutney is prepared, an alternative chutney is kept ready for me..sometimes tomato or sometimes sambhar.So, i never touch a coconut curry  'kurma' being the top in the list).  This is very much known to Aunty. Yet, (please keep this a secret ;) ) sometimes while travelling when people give me a coconut curry or chutney..and if i have no other alternative ... i do gulp it...quietly without any noise....!! Yes, a true confession ..i never do that at home....never settle for that...the reason being ...
' when people come to know that jesse has started eating coconut..my daily meals would begun to get flooded by that scrapped coconut.....white and tender....slimy...tasteless yet not tasty...etc etc etc...!!!!' I hope You have understood my situation well ...!!!

So, i had a mission ...and that was to buy a small piece of coconut that would have no left overs when used  in a single meal. Yes...i had to prepare an underground meal that day..!! shhhhhh

What would i do then ??
i got a click...there was a shortcut route to reach my home and in that route there were many small shops. These shops were for people who wouldn't buy much.. mainly for the people who lived on daily wages. i felt this was THE answer to my ......!!! Now the next question was...

                            'How should i buy a single piece of coconut ???? '

Asking for a piece or two would be unwise as 'piece' is not a standard measurement.
Grams - hmmm, i wasn't sure how much it would weigh ( yes....yes...i know i should as i am a physicist....!!)

Ok, what i thought would be best was to observe...!! So, i parked my scooty nearby a small shop that was flooded with chips packets, biscuits, some local sweets etc and i observed how others were buying their food items. I soon realized it was in 'rupees' as their measurement like... Parrupa pattu ruba - Pulses for 10 rupees, poondu anja ruba - Garlic for 5 rupees..etc.

Now i was extremely happy as i could begun my part soon. So i was there with my raincoat on, my helmet in my left  hand, bag in my right hand and sandals on both my feet ... ;) that was just an extra fitting ..!! Lets continue...

I asked the shopkeeper..."Tenga - coconut " ..... Anja rubaka ( for Rs 5)
There was silence...!! Did i make a mistake? He shrunk his eyebrows and said '5'rupees...no ma....you need to buy it for '6' rupees...i smiled and said ..Ok ok ..please give me "taanga' and he gave me two or three pieces of coconut.

Then my eyes fell upon the bunch of bananas. They looked fresh and i thought 3 would do for a single meal. Yet again..... how would i initiate the buying phenomenon.
So, i asked ...'vazhaparam' (bananas) yavalo (how much) ?
Since i was pointing towards a particular branch .. He said Rs 5.

Now..i don't know why, yet i said something baseless....!!

FYI, I do buy vegetables....!! i love to...!! i get them from the supermarket. It's very easy out there. You have transparent plastic sheets and you collect how much of each vegetable you like...and at the end you are charged for the bulk at the counter. You need not bargain at all...!
Today, all i know is, the approx. price for a 16 or 32 GB pen-drive, the online and market price for a slim back up plus external hard drive, the price difference between Hitachi and Optoma projector, the price difference between LED and power saver bulbs, etc etc...

Now how would i know the price of a country banana, which had the size of an inch more than my palm. All i have heard is that 'banana' is a poor man's fruit. So, i was there standing with all these questions in my mind.

I don't know why ...yet i asked him..

           ' Oru Vaazhaparam ? ' ( 5 rupees for one banana ?)

The shopkeeper bursted out with laughter. I stood there silent..... He said to me "Then what...was i telling you the price for - 'half a banana' ??" and he began laughing again...!!

What could i do.... i joined in his laughter...became a partaker of his joy...!!  ;)   ha ha ha !!

So, i finally bought the two items...( coconut + 3 bananas) safely wrapped in a single newspaper. i rode back home and slyly placed the coconut on the kitchen rack. Prepared the curry with
coconut milk extract and left no clue about the Rs 5 ..ohh sorry... Rs 6 coconut..!!

                                                  THE END ... paah !!! phew...!!

One of my favorite song ...

You've allowed suffering in my life,
Suffering You've allowed in my life,
To mould me, to break me,
To make me, what i am.

You've allowed suffering in my life,
Suffering You've allowed in my life.


How much more, i know not,
How much greater, i fear not,
For i know You will be by my side,
Preparing me as a spotless bride.

You've allowed suffering in my life,
Suffering You've allowed in my life.

                                           You alone are sufficient !!

 Lord, Your presence is sweetest,

            When i am broken;

Your strength is the strongest,

            When i am weakest oh Lord;

Let me be broken still,

      Let me be weak oh Lord;

that Your grace can be manifested

      Manifested in full.

Let me sink deeper in Your Love,

       Let me step further in Faith,

Lord Jesus ..the sole lover of my soul,

       Sole lover of my soul.

There is nothing that can suffice this emptiness,

        Just You alone could do,

When You are - In - Oh Lord,

       I have place for everyone...a place to bless everyone.

But the days when i am lonely,

    Are the days that went wrongly,

Because of not giving You the place,

  That i ought to - forgive me Lord..Jesus dear.

You are Everything - all sufficient,

     to my body, soul and spirit,

You are Everything - all sufficient,

     to my body, soul and spirit.