Sunday, July 10, 2016

Crushes and Crashes !!!

Crushes and Crashes !!!

I have been watching a few movies…shhhh Christian movies in the past weeks … probably one movie a week…that isn’t very bad …!! I somehow realized that I am a little drawn towards movies that have a storyline, a family genre or sometimes a clean love story. Come on  .. yes .. love story…nothing wrong about it…!!!

In particular some movies have been of a great challenge to me like Pamela’s Prayer, Grace unplugged, Princess cut etc.

When I was in Malaysia last year, a girl dared to ask me (no one does it..seeing me in white in white ;) Akka do you have a boyfriend? And I was shocked … !! I asked her ..what has made you ask me such a question and to which she replied.. “it just seems impossible to believe that ..no one has ever proposed to you!! I replied …………………….!!

Recently have been going through a couple of videos by Eric and Leslie Ludy …Love those articles and Videos…Why? I see there's Christ centered relationship in there. Not like a fairy tale – wherein we see heroes riding on  a white horse or a girl with a tiara … !! Their’s is/was a love story written by God ….set as a challenge and example to many young people. If I ever have one….i was thinking about it the other day…and while watching a particular video…I have come up with the Title  – “      ;)”

Many girls have lot of questions about this matter and lots to share about yet many aren’t as open as they should be. All the information they ever receive is from the filthy TV programmes and emotional falsified love stories….wherein an uneducated gang leader falls in love with an educated college girl. He follows her and she falls in love with him…probably when he rescues her from some villain…etc etc…..!! These worldly-false-lust-eruptive movies have done much harm to the society, much more than even pornography has done. I personally found it hard to pick myself up after having read through the news report about the recent Nungambakkam murder case. After having watched the live stills with her dead body lying on the railway platform…I should say…I wept … !! Why has human life become so cheap?
So…sorry..i was supposed to take this along another line yet…it’s difficult to tame a writer’s thoughts and her writing fingers. Yes… _crushes and crashes_..!!

Did I ever have any crush ;) and DO YOU THINK THAT I WOULD EVER PUBLISH IT??
Yet I do have some hilarious moments to narrate!!
I was just in my 10 th std…as mentioned I was known as a studious girl. I wasn’t attractive and that was a concern to me sometimes. Yet I was a confident person – ( not saved yet) !! I had a friend, and I along with another two girls would frequently visit his house to have some food as his mother would prepare good tasty ones. Our school was located in an airforce area and it was fun to visit their quarters. He was younger to me…come on…he was a good innocent friend yet poor boy….he began to have crush upon me….!! Adding to his folly was he shared it to a few other classmates and when I was told about it….I wept and probably stopped speaking with him for months together. Till date ……. ….. he has been apologizing almost every time that he had once made me cry….I have told him…forgiven!!

Though there were a few things that used to attract me like …. Guys with guitar, a mountaineer, a pet lover, V neck Tshirt, casual and simple looks, 6 feet, hmmmm…clean shaven….yet…never did God allow me to fall for any guy..!! Let’s all shout Praise God for this !!

Yes….that was a young jesse….even during my college days…there were quite a lot of temptations yet God faithfully guarded me via a fence named Uncle and also when he wasn’t around..through different ways. During my college days…there was a trend wherein guys would drop their girlfriends near the college gate, also as I would ride my bike from home to college daily ..it was a common thing to see girls being seated behind a guy in their colouful bikes and making a public display of their so called affection. It wasn’t unnoticed to my eyes…and I wouldn’t shut my eyes either…yet ….i thank God … He enabled me to use this as an opportunity to pray Jesse’s Pamela’s prayer…..yes I do have one. And I would pray… “Lord…I too wish - to one day sit as a pillion rider behind a guy…Yet Lord…if it ever happens ..that guy should be none other than my husband”…...and joy would flood my soul…a joy of God’s grace and faithfulness….a joy of hope and faith for the future.

Of course I was tempted a couple of times…yet God preserved me. I can recall of an incident wherein I was to go to a school to complete my Rotaract club hours. And the coordinator probably from Loyala I believe after the programme approached me and asked if he could drop me back home. God had already given me the strength to say no..!! why ?  There was a fear in me ..that continues to this date. Some ask me .. "what’s wrong in meeting up with a guy….it’s not that you are going to marry him..after all it’s just meeting up for a cup of coffee?               
What kind of fear do I have here….it’s the sincere acknowledgement that I am after all flesh. And it wouldn’t take a moment for me to fall into any of the devil’s snare. I had seen so many girls…yes even believers finding it difficult to break away relationships with unbelievers…!! How did it begin…yes….it began from that – harmless..little catching up @ CafĂ© Coffee Day.

Recently someone confronted me ..your standards are too high jesse…. "you are dreaming..and what guarantee do you have that he too has such standards…don’t be a fool jesse"!!!
I replied him with these three words – I trust God !!

While doing my internship in LV Prasad studio, we were about to finish with our project and my team who were from a college of another state had borrowed some money from me. It was not a borrow sort of a thing…it was that I had purchased something ..and they had to pay me back. This was my last week there. The person incharge…would remind me… “Oh..i have to pay you back the money…!!” I sincerely believed that he was concerned about paying me back. Yet at the end of the day…he wouldn’t. Monday,Tuesday….Thurday had passed…yet he did not pay me back my money. Finally on Friday afternoon….i receive a call…asking if I was free. I was unable to join the dots and asked the explanation ….why?  He replied … “could I pay you back the money over a coffee somewhere outside….!!” Ahhh….i understood the un-narrated motive….and I politely told him to keep the money to himself and have a good single meal in a fine restaurant.

No…no collars lifted up and no claps for this!!! I am just as flesh as you are yet..God has been faithful to - keep me ‘His beloved pearl’  safely inside His shell…..He will open the shell when His one comes in …Right….!! I have the faith to believe this…and am for it!!

What about you….how many times will you give yourself away to someone who isn’t The one God has for you….even if you think he is …. Are you willing to honour God with a Christ centered relationship? Are you willing to battle this flesh of yours and live a pure life unto Him? Are you willing to Wait ?
Recently someone asked me this question –
Sameer: so how’s your hero?
Jesse - I don’t have any hero?
Sameer: Jhoot (lie)
Jesse – I don’t have any hero…yet I do have a future husband…and he should be doing fine :)

So let me fill in the blanks .....

No Crushes yet many crashes !!!


No comments:

Post a Comment